Bankhead Bounce

As I sat on the toilet. Yes, the toilet, friends.  I realized my shoulders were tightly shrugged up towards my ears.  I told myself, "shoulders down."

Since then, I have started to check in with my body.  It never occurred to me to do so or that it was necessary, but the more I tuned in, the more I discovered that my shoulders are often in this position, drawn up and tight.

So I began to tell myself regularly, "shoulders down." This happened so often that I felt like I was doing the Bankhead Bounce all day.

The things we experience and store have a way of manifesting. It brought me back to a book a friend previously suggested, "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma."

"Mindfulness not only makes it possible to survey our internal landscape with compassion and curiosity but can also actively steer us in the right direction for self-care."

— Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma)

Does my body have a shit list?  Keeping tally of the ways we’ve been wronged? She’s a pretty petty and detailed Typographer!

How can our bodies hold on so tightly to things our brain is unaware of that is boiling beneath the surface? Long after the initial burn, we are unaware we have been branded.

It is astounding how remarkable our bodies are, and, in the same breath, they are complete a-holes.

What a dichotomy. Our dysfunctional bestie protects us at all costs; it's her job, and she takes it very seriously. So much so that it will keep us warm in our delusion.

All in the effort to help us feel safe.  Sure, her tactics feel a little juvenile, "put this chip in your mouth; it will make you feel better."

But it was my job to practice listening and sinking into my body. A job in which I regularly no call, no show.

So, I have to forgive my body when she misguidedly turns to not-so-healthy or helpful things in her misguided attempt to soothe us.

I'd like to tell my body sorry.
I am sorry I numbed you.
I am sorry I ignored you.
I am sorry I misunderstood you.
I am sorry I criticized and chastised you.
I am sorry I silenced you.
I am sorry I abused you.
I am sorry I failed to prioritize you.
I am sorry, and I am ready to listen.

"In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past."

— Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma)

Goodies

Eye Candy: Happy Halloween 🎃

Craving: As Easy As Breaking Bread.

Flo(w): The Wayans Are At It Again!

Pregnant Pause: Do You Have A Minute To Spare?