Buns Hun
Whether we are aware or not, what we see directly affects our psyche. For decades, and still presently, we were peddled what was acceptable, attractive, and admirable - in print, on-screen, and in music.
David Harbour, beloved curmudgeon Hopper from Stranger Things, was told he was perfect for the "fat" character Blob in the Wolverine movie.* Initially, I assumed they were referring to the 1988 movie The Blob - I'm showing my age.
Talk about a backhanded compliment.
Or conversely, Amy Schumer was told she needed to lose weight to play the lead role in a movie SHE WROTE.* Come again?
The cast of Living Single, #1 ranked in the Black and Latin households at the time, were told they needed to lose weight. I hope they told them to find the nearest escalator to hell.
The nerve of addressing those beautiful, hilarious women in that manner - not to mention their show was the direct inspiration for the show "Friends."
Speaking of friends, Jennifer Aniston revealed her agent said, "The disgusting thing of Hollywood [is] I wasn't getting lots of jobs 'cause I was too heavy." So she lost 30 pounds before auditioning for "Friends."*
Let us not forget all the crazy disparaging comments from America's Next Top Model, or even crazier that Tyra herself is considered a plus-size model.
In her very early career, Tyra's mother was told Tyra's "butt is getting too big" which was also accompanied by a list of designers that no longer wanted to work with her daughter. Her mother shut those ideas immediately, saying she'd "be damned" if her child "starved" for the modeling industry.* Yes for Mama Carolyn!
"Does this make my butt look big?" I'm sure we all recall this prevalent phrase sprinkled everywhere.
Beauty norms have always been dictated by popular culture, although black culture has always appreciated a little junk in the trunk. But, these days BBls are mainstream. Sir Mix-a-Lot's anaconda isn't the only one who don't want none unless you got buns hun, or at least that's what popular culture would have us believe.
The lunacy of it all! I'm not suggesting we eat with reckless abandon with no regard to physical health, but also, life is too short not to eat the cake. There's no ideal body "shape". And the average size of a woman in the US is 16. Talk about the ultimate gas-light, to treat us as if we aren't "normal" or beautiful.
Skinny, plus size, Itty Bitty Titty Committee, big butt little waist, big stomach pancake (which are delicious by the way) - I don't know about you, but I am done with a moving ruler or goalpost. The hell with that, you're beautiful. You're BEAUTIFUL - yelling in case you didn't hear me the first time.
Times are changing for the better, the problem is because these norms are dictated outside ourselves they will surely change again. So next time popular culture, a person in your life, or the negative counsel that lives rent-free in your head makes you feel anything less than beautiful - tell them to pucker up...
Your buns are waiting hun.
Goodies
Flo(w): Are You Positive?
Pregnant Pause: Reminders That You're a Baddie
Body+: Stats on Stats on Stats
Cravings: New Season, New Dinners